Thank god, no more exams! So happy. Hannahs coming down at the weekend, not seen her in yeeeeears so she is getting introduced to the Irwell lifestyle! Also arranged to go down to Reading to meet with Shaun and sort out houses and stuff.

New poem for you all. Normally i dont name my inspirations explicitly, but this one is about Emma.

Tell Me Tonight

The Head Cant Feel What The Heart Does,
The Head cant understand the pain,
The Head doesnt understand why i miss us,
And That i would never do it again,
The head is far too logical, the hearts dramatics,
Its either one or the other, never a mix,
Somewhere in beetween is nothing but a lie,
No matter how much i want it, how hard i try,
I dont know what i was thinking, the thoughts in my mind,
I know ive made a mistake but the solutions hard to find,
How do i put it right, what can i do now,
Lying in my bed, swimming in my thoughts thinking how,
What can i do, to put this thing right,
What can i do now, on this dark and lonely night,
How can i make it up to you, undo all the history,
How can i figure out what happened, whys it all a mystery,
I dont understand the decisions i make, and why i run away,
Whenever it gets too close, too real, i think of other ways,
Whenever it gets too happy, too normal and cheery,
I always find ways to mess it up and make it dreary,
I dont know why im writing this, and what i want to achieve,
Maybe its to lift this weight off my shoulders, to help me breathe,
Maybe its to lift off the burden on my heart,
To put things right i dont know where to start,
I dont know what to do, or how i should behave,
This relationship games turned my heart into a slave,
If theres any way i can fix things, or at least make it right,
Please tell me soon, please tell me tonight.

Sam Marsh 2007 (c)

Morning all, have been doing Microsoft coding all weekend and its making me soooo angry. Me and Matt ended up doing an all night ASP.NET coding session on thursday night / friday morning, to create a custom made login-system using a non-local SQL server with our own SQL session manager and activation techniques. Sounds fun? It wasnt. Ended up coming home and had to do some Excel coding for my dad, which is equally as annoying seeing as Office 2007 is completely different to office XP.

No fun. Going 5th Ave tomorrow night, its going to be messy! Also, i dont know what it is, but 2 people who supposedly fell out with me forever have both started talking to me again out of the blue. Pretty random!

Sam.

Well, Whats going on. Didnt do much this weekend, or i dont remember doing much anyway lol Had a few drinks, chilled on the fields playing american football, the usual! Went on the field yesterday and ended up playing full contact american football with these lads, some of which where American lol Was good fun, although this morning reminds me of why i gave up rugby, the damn ache! Went to footage with the lads last night and dragged along Joe, was a good night, a bit quiet but meh, when theres alcohol who cares! Going to 5th Ave next Monday with Nicola ‘The Beautiful Mother’ (she knows) Cross haha And whoever she drags out, plus the boys. Will be a good one! Rock an roll.

Well, Went down to London (Reading) on Thursday, went smoothly with a hitch, however it was boring, as usual. Stayed in Room 101 (How good) in the hotel, and just watched tele all night because i was knackered from travelling. Was at Intel all day for HR, Team building, Meet the team stuff and got back into Manc at around 9pm. Somehow got lost due to walking while on the phone, and took me 20 minutes to get my bearings back lol Wasnt fun to say the least. Saturday came and we went to town and chilled out in Piccadilly Gardens for a bit with a few drinks, an just walked around generally to pass the time! Went out at night for Ash’s birthday even though we all got seperated and never met back up again, so i ended up spending the night alone with Emma which was fun! Spent the night at hers and all of today, just generally lazing around and wondering why its called a goosebump (do geese have bumps?). Came back to mine at about 5pm and just felt knackered ever since, trying to revise! I knew i should of got more than 3 hours sleep, but i cant complain all the time! Have a subnetting test tomorrow, then im going STRAIGHT back to bed, because im shattered lol Night night, sweet dreams and i hope you realise the world is a facade =] Sam. And Oh yeah, apparently im on a police investigation list for things ive said on a public forum (its ok, i always check to see whether what i post could be accountable for slander/ libel, plus if they did prosecute its likely they have breached the Data Protection Act 1998 for unlawful storage and processing of my IP in correlation to my university accomodation whereabouts.), But hey-ho, i’ll have to wait and see. I hope something happens though, cant beat beating someone at their own game. Bring it on.

New poem, was meaning to write it all weekend but couldnt bring myself to do it.

What do you say:
When you tell someone you love them,
And they say nothing in return,
When they walk away in silence,
And dont ever stop and turn,
Committing yourself to someone,
Only to be spurned,
Its hard to be open with someone,
When its not what they want to know,
Its hard to tell your true feelings,
When you know what will no doubt come,
All the tears, the heartache,
The lonelyness and the pain,
I keep telling myself no,
But its all happening again,
You have to ask, is it worth it?
This ‘love’ is just suffering and hurt,
Why bother to buy the drinks,
Why bother to even flirt?
Its hard to find a reason,
When you know this pain will come,
Its hard to undo whats been said,
And whats already been done.

Sam Marsh 2007 (c)

Enjoy ladies.

Poem – Her

Water beads explode, onto my hair,
my head slides against the shower wall in despair,
how can this still happen, happen to me,
i thought i was over her but it wasnt to be,
as the dial turns to cold, and my body goes numb,
my heart is soon to follow from all this pain thats been done,
its hard to close my eyes, to stop the water flow,
theres no-where to turn to prevent me feeling woe,
if water is the cleanser, i wish it would heal my heart,
theres too much pain in my life, for me to even start,
explaining it all, one step at a time,
it used to help my heart but now its pointless making rhymes,
as the water runs dry, and the steam dissappears,
the pain is still apparent, the pain is still near,
i still see her face, every day within my head,
i still hear her words, all those whispers she said,
i still feel her breath, upon my neck when im asleep,
i still think of her, whenever i hear my mobiles beep,
i still think of her, as mine and mine to hold,
i thought we’d of lived forever, together, till we’re old,
but things are never meant to be,
apparently things arent meant for me,
happiness and love, are off the agenda,
she’ll have to find someone else to befriend her….